An Autopsy of the Yahoodi Lobby


Ah, the Yahoodi Lobby! They are the root of all evil. The Muslim world, in particular Pakistan, is obsessed with the malicious activities that this lobby conducts in their poor nations. The term ‘Yahoodi’ means Jewish, but to the more sound-minded hypocrite Muslims, Jews are also an ‘ehl-e-kitab’ (nicer way of saying that Jews themselves aren’t bad). The word ‘Yahoodi’ therefore does not include the nice Jews but the bad ones – the ones a common Pakistani knows as ‘Zionists’.

Proclaiming your competition is Zionist gets you votes. "I endorse Zionism"
Proclaiming your competition is Zionist gets you votes. “I endorse Zionism”

So, this Zionist lobby is a handful of people that are the cause of destruction of social, political and religious fabric of this humble Muslim nation. The Zionists caused the floods in 2010, the earthquake in 2005 and are perhaps behind every political party that comes into power in Pakistan. They supported and backed Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto when he came to power, they supported Nawaz Sharif and then Benazir Bhutto, and now Asif Ali Zardari. They are now the afterburners on the PTI political campaign. Or so it is assumed.

What the fuck is the Yahoodi Lobby?

The Yahoodi lobby may be as real as anything but in Pakistan, the lobby is merely a fabricated arsenal that had for decades been used by the Islamicised factions and the rightist political parties. When political parties, particularly those that lingers in the far corners of the right, could not deliver during their term in the government or opposition, these parties would confuse their constituencies into believing that their efforts were met adversely by the Yahoodi lobby.

Take heed from the current situation in Punjab. Countless scandalous affairs involving the Dengue mosquito craze and the sales of fraudulent medicine has exposed the true extent to which the Pakistan Muslim League – Nawaz (PML-N) government has been scratching at the national treasures to fill their own coffers. Since, they have nothing more to  prove their worthiness for the next elections, they cower behind their accomplishments from a bygone era (namely the Motorway projects) and blame their current performance on the poor Yahoodi lobby. Yahoodi lobby, in their opinion, is now completely in favour of the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) – after all, PTI’s Imran Khan is related to the most prolific Yahoodi lobbyists, the Goldsmiths.

Such a load of crap coming from the PML-N leadership is what brings ratings to the countless television prime-time talk shows, and the Yahoodi lobby unintentionally gets relevance anyway. If the Yahoodi lobby persists on anonymity and secrecy, they are not doing a sincere job in Pakistan – they are discussed as openly as Monica Lewinsky’s affair to the former American president. The Yahoodi lobby is merely the last cries of a dying race of politicians – ones that have nothing other to declare and everything to lose.

The Invisible Friend

You’ve often seen children playing with invisible friends. They have tea parties which sets of cutlery and cups laid out for more people than themselves, they air-guitar and applaud to themselves, all the while imagining they are being watched and cared for by someone, when they are not. The Yahoodi lobby is the invisible friend Sharifs and the Chaudhrys of PML-N like to play with – the lobby is akin to the dog that gets the blame for what they do.

Hmm, guess what? The dog's perhaps a comrade of the Yahoodi lobby
Hmm, guess what? The dog’s perhaps a comrade of the Yahoodi lobby

They know they aren’t going to get votes, and that’s all down to the bad dog (the Yahoodi lobby). The proclaim that Imran Khan is related to the Yahoodi lobby because Khan’s ex-father-in-law is a long-standing member of the Yahoodi lobby. Jemima Goldsmith (who likes to be called Jemima Khan now), Khan’s ex-wife is a Yahoodi (a Jew) even when she is a Christian by faith; even her father’s a Catholic.

Let’s Get a Meme Rolling

Since PML-N is so adamant at exposing the Zionist movement in Pakistan, let’s help them by rolling out a meme. That should at least keep the PTI trolls hyped up for a while. With every thing that Muslim League has seen come their way, I guess it’s just that easy to blame the poor Yahoodi lobby.

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